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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Plan Now To Head Off Later Issues With Aging Parents

By Edward Conlee


At some point we end up with aging fogeys. And with that comes a whole array of Problems we need to deal with. We'll doubtless need to provide some form of help on a consistent basis, whether we live nearby or not. It could be finding them a housekeeper, or ensuring they get to doctor appointments punctually.

Frequently it gets to the point that much more than temporary and occasional help is obligatory. If your parent has a terminal or progressive condition that remits round the clock care, what options are available? To everybody involved? What if you are an only kid, or the only child in the family who can provide this type of help?

Blood could be thicker than water, but not all youngsters are ready or in a position to step up and supply this level of care. If you are married with your own family, this also needs to be considered. Your entire family must be on board with this idea. Even with one dissenter, there will be major issues. Yes, it is true : not everybody always wants grandma to move in. Your kids may not need to give up their family room to turn it into a bedroom.

Does the family all have responsibilities? No one can be there twenty four seven. Not everybody wants to adjust their life permanently if it suggests a major sacrifice.

Besides the major issue of having someone move in, what are a few of the other concerns to be conscious of and discussed? Is she bedridden? Does she have convulsions, need special medication, special food, or help getting to the bathroom? What if she is's incontinent? Who changes her and the sheets?

Everybody should be on the same page here. Even though it's your parent, you can't possibly be anticipated to be there twenty-four hours a day. You need help. Will your partner help you? Normally, wives have enough to do. They do not want the extra burden of caring for someone else. When someone reaches the point that they aren't able to live by themselves, this is a huge amount of work when they move in. Cooking, cleaning, medicines, washing, and even the additional cost can be more than some families can deal with.

Be active. Long before your mother and father reach old age, have truthful dialogue about what they think and how these expectations could be met. They might just say that their kids will take care of them when the time comes, no matter what. It might be a shock and disappointment to learn that other alternatives could need to be discussed when the time comes.




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